#2 Living In The Moment

It's a struggle at times, to look in the mirror and see this face.
It's got more wrinkles and age spots and there's the case of my already high forehead getting higher, and my chin(s) getting lower...

But with age comes wisdom (or at least experience), and I've lived long enough to know that ten years from now I'll look at this picture of myself and think "what the hell was I complaining about? I looked FANTASTIC!" So I'm going to try to see this part of the journey as a glass half full.
I'm not overweight, I'm juicy.
I'm not wrinkled, I'm wise.

And no matter how old I get I will never be too old to laugh.
Or have sex.
Preferably both at the same time.

I think hitting fifty next year will be amazing.  I'm so grateful for the gift of this life.  I've had friends who didn't make the milestone, and I don't take for granted that I might not make it either.

I'm just going to try to find a parcel of joy in each and every day.
If I can't, well, I'll shoot for satisfaction.
And if that isn't forthcoming, I can settle for no guilt.
But if by chance the fault is mine, I'll try to do better the next day.  If the next day doesn't arrive, I'll go for the law of averages.  Because I'm more good than bad.  And even when I'm bad, I'm pretty good.

As the French say,  "J'essaie".

Forty-nine and feelin' Fine! #1 Sit-Ups

I turned forty-nine yesterday. For some reason it was different from all those other birthdays. Thirty was a milestone, so was forty. But Fifty? Come ON. There is no way I'll be FIFTY next year.

Except that, with any luck at all, I will.

This is a rich and juicy time in my life. I have a husband who loves me, who has seen me through thin and thick (lately, really thick). Who knows me better than anyone else. I have a son who is the light of my life and the pusher of all my buttons.

And I have spent a great deal of time focusing on other people these last ten years of my life. I enjoy that, it gives me great satisfaction. But I've also used it as an excuse to put things off - going back to school, getting my teaching certificate, pursuing hobbies in greater detail, getting in shape, changing bad habits that daily clutter my life with a feeling of being annoyed or outright pissed at myself. And I realize that I could have made these changes at any time. But this latest birthday really hit me in the face, like a pie with it's creamy filling of reality, so yeah. Now's the time.

So I'm dedicating this year, my forty-ninth on this planet, to me. Not in a self-absorbed, check out my shiny chakra way. I'm not going to let the rest of my life and loves slide by unnoticed, I'm just going to expand the frame enough to put me in the picture too. I'm going to hit fifty running, feeling better than I do today.

So I've come up with a plan: I'm going to do forty-nine things that will help me get there. I don't know what all of them are yet. I'm making this up as I go along. And I don't suspect it will be easy to come up with forty-nine things, or winnow down to just forty-nine. I have NO idea. But that's what excites me about the whole adventure!

And they don't have to be huge, expensive, super risky things either. I won't be traveling the globe or jumping out of airplanes. This isn't "Eat, Pray, Love". And God knows, I'm not Julia Roberts. These are just small steps I can take that make me feel like I'm taking care of myself.

Thing number one: Sit ups. It's simple really. I have no core muscles. I can feel it when I get up out of my chair or out of the car after a long ride. So I'm going to do sit ups every morning and evening. As many as I can without making me never want to do them again. Every day unless I'm sick. If I can button my pants easier, that'll be cool. But if I just sit up straighter, or have a little more energy? That's what I'm after.

Here we go.....