#6 Find That Fit Girl Inside

For most of my life, I have thought of myself as a petite, fit person.  Inside.  Someday, I would lay off the fries and let her out.  

Well, the day came a couple months ago.  My back had been hurting for months.  I ached all the time.  Nothing fit right.  I was cranky and grouchy and too embarrassed to step in front of a camera to have a picture taken with my family.  Somehow, someone managed to get me on a scale, and GOOD LORD it wasn't pretty.  Still, I did nothing.  I imagined a time when I wouldn't feel that way.  But as far as taking any action?  Nope.

In fact, when I started this blog last August, my thought was that I would make a big pronouncement about getting fit and losing weight, and I just couldn't do it.  I didn't want to jinx it.  I knew it was coming, but I wasn't there yet.

Back in February, my sister made two trips to the hospital.  The first time, she passed out cold in her kitchen.  Just keeled right over and hit her head.  She is in her early sixties, and has a husband a son just out of college.  She freaked us all out.  But they ran a bunch of tests, and nothing conclusive jumped out at them, and they released her the next day.  I called her several times after to see if she had followed through with her doctor, and when I called a couple weeks later, she could barely complete a sentence.  She had been in bed for two days.  I knew she had pneumonia, and her husband took her to the hospital and, yup, sure enough....  After that visit, the doc at the hospital gave her a prescription for the patch.  She HAD to stop smoking.  

She hasn't yet.  She promises me that she will when they take a cruise at the end of the month.  She is taking the patch with her, and no cigarettes.  Her reason for not stopping sooner, is because her job is too stressful.  I had to bite my tongue, but then I realized - I was in NO PLACE TO JUDGE.  I was managing MY stress with food.  I was not listening to MY doctor about losing weight.  I was not taking care of my own body, so I just needed to mind my own damn business.

The next day, I signed up for Weight Watchers.  I wasn't really all that enthused.  I'd done it before.  Two times, both successful, but not sustained.  This time though?  I am in LOVE with the program.  If you've done it before, they have totally revamped the program toward a more nutritionally balanced program.  Fruit?  FREE.  Most veggies?  FREE.  AND instead of getting 18 points a day, I get 29.  That is the lowest amount of points you can have.  Plus you get an extra 49 for the week, so if you need them (a birthday party, a dinner out, a glass of wine on occasion), you can have it.  I am attending meetings, and also using the etools sight, which is one of the BEST THINGS EVER.  I look for recipes online, and have not made one that we haven't swooned over.  Seriously. There is no guilt, and I have never felt better.  The weight is coming off steadily (not fast, but constant), and I have more energy than I have had  in YEARS.  My back doesn't hurt.  My middleaged mood swings are less and less, and I am more active.  I am smiling more.  

I. Am. Smiling. More.  

My goal is to hit fifty in August at least twenty pounds lighter.  I am almost halfway there!